I have had some time now to reflect on my life before, and after, having my sins purged.

I see that much of what I did was done out of a fear of being alone, being meaningless, being powerless. I wanted to put my mark on the world. When I could not do so through approved actions, I did so through unapproved actions. I was shown no respect by others, so I showed others no respect.

Like a silt clouded lake, there was no way for me to see to the bottom, to see what lay in the deeper waters.

And now, it is clear.

None of us are alone. None of it is meaningless. None of us are powerless. The world itself is suffused with a an endless and endlessly forgiving respect. An abiding love.

But that does not make what I did right. How I acted caused harm. How I treated others caused ripples of pain that caused more pain.

I must learn how to love my existence fully. As fully as She loves my existence. 

And then I can pass that love, respect, and care to others.

-Meditations on his existence, by the Ex-Criminal Sharunakel